Edward II was killed by a hot poker being shoved up his anus. Historians differ on the symbolism of that form of execution. Some feel the "up yours" reflected revulsion at Edward IIs sexual preferences, others feel it was done so that no wounds would be noticeable. The latter theory is more tenable. Kings generally could indulge themselves in any sort of sensual activities as long as they got the job done. Killing a king was considered an extreme act under any circumstances and the hot poker in the nether regions allowed the pretense that the late king "just up and died." Then, as now, it was sometimes useful to commit a violent act and leave no marks on the body. In any event, it turns out that Edward II came within a comma of escaping this unseemly death. Edward's wife Isabel had a lover named Roger Mortimer, who caused Edward to be imprisoned in Berkeley Castle. One of Edward's keepers, Adam of Orleton, received a note, probably from Mortimer, which read in Latin "Edwardum occidere nolite timere, bonum est," which translated reads, "Edward to kill be unwilling to fear, it is good." Now had the writer been sloppy and placed the comma after the "unwilling," Edward may have lived, escaped confinement, and reigned on, influencing his young son Edward (III) to perform deeds other than beginning a war with France.



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